Baby Steps

I haven’t written here in a few days because I’ve been busy climbing out of a black hole.  Every so often, my depression sneaks back in without me realizing it and then BAM! I’m lying at the bottom of a hole trying to claw my way back out.

When that happens, everything seems to take more energy than I can find.  This time, however, I was able to continue doing some of things I’ve set for myself as goals. So I’m proud of myself for that. 😀

Since yesterday was the start of a new month, I decided to do something a little different.  I always have a list of ‘to-do’ items I want to get done, but I never seem to accomplish more than one or two of them.  I decided I need something a bit more ‘visual.’

I made a spreadsheet of ‘October Goals’ for myself, complete with little boxes I can check off as I complete the items (or parts of them).  One of the things I want to do is to finish scanning in all my old family photos.  This has been a goal for me for years, because I inherited all the old family albums when my parents died.

After 5+ years, though, the photos are still sitting in a box in my closet.  Divide and conquer, right? Rather than making my goal ‘scanning ALL the photos,’ I made a goal of scanning 60 photos this month.  And because I was feeling so good about creating my ‘goal’ list, I sat down and scanned 60 photos yesterday!

Normally, this would encourage me to immediately say, well, I just did 60, so I can add another 60 to my goal.

But I didn’t.

I scanned 60 this month, so I met my goal.  If I end up scanning in more this month, great. If not, I can scan 60 more next month, and the next, and the next. It’s not like the photos are going anywhere. I’m trying to learn to be nicer to myself, and I see this as a baby step in that direction.

Another one of my goals is to exercise every day. I put an app on my phone for a 30-day workout.  I get reminded once a day to do the exercises, which makes it pretty simple.  I picked the ‘easy’ plan to start – and I’m glad I did, because even the easy plan is kicking my out-of-shape ass.  I’ve stuck with it for 14 days so far (even though I really, really, really look forward to the rest days!), so I’m proud of myself for that.  Even though I’m depressed at how completely out of shape I am – at least I’m making progress.  Again, baby steps.

I have about 15 goals on my list for this month, some simple, one-step things, some more complicated.  Having them on a tracker sheet where I can see at a glance how I’m coming along has already been a huge help. My OCD/organization-loving little heart squeals to see all the marks to indicate progress.  And even though today is only October 2, I’m pretty pumped about the progress I’ve made this month!

Baby steps. 😀